WHEW!
It's been a while since I had the time to sit down and share some thoughts with you all. Heck, I don't even have the time right now! But I thought it necessary to hammer out my feelings into written form, because it feels so damn good to do it!
If you don't follow me on Facebook, you might be well overdue for an update on my life! Finn is now 13 months and 20 days old.. and Gabe is now TEN DAYS OLD! That's right, I did it again, I had a beautiful, bouncing baby boy. Okay, so he isn't bouncing yet. But give him time, he will be ;)
Yes, Gabriel John Thomas Ferguson was born on May 4th, 2014 at 9:47 am, via cesearean section, and he weighed in at a whopping 7lbs 4.8 ounces.. a mere ounce in the difference from his brother at birth. It was quite the day, I was so out of it, I actually threw up all over myself, like the class act that I am, as soon as I got back to my room from recovery. I didn't even feel like holding him, I just laid there in the bed and slept in and out most of the day, feeling like someone had run me over with a transfer truck. That feeling continued for about a week. In fact, the following Monday, after we got home from the hospital, I ended up with the flu. Then, 10 minutes later, Bobby got it. Yes, we do everything together, the dream couple. It wouldn't have been so bad, had Finn not been up, crying and miserable with a terrible cold (which later turned out to be an ear infection). So, here I was, covered in my own puke, stripping my bed, trying not to get it everywhere, with a towel wrapped around me. Fortunately, a friend was online at the time, and saw what was going on. She showed up at my door at 1am, made my bed with clean bedding, cleaned my floor, packed a bag for Finn, scooped him up and left. My angel on earth. I'm not even joking. The next day was a total blur, in and out of running to the bathroom, cleaning up puke (Bobby didn't make it to the bathroom a couple of times himself), and yes, nursing. I am DETERMINED to be successful at nursing this time around. I told myself that giving up was not an option, no matter what! I gave up too easily with Finn, and I regretted it completely. Spending $200 a month on formula, and dealing with all of the belly issues that come with it, is just not my cup of tea. That money would be better spent on other practical things.. like diapers, wine, coffee, toilet paper.. Oops.. did I say that out loud? Finally, Wednesday afternoon, we were finally able to get Finn back home, and I swear to God, he knew we were worn out. The child slept through the night for basically one of the rarest occasions. I was so relieved, because I knew that if he gave Bobby a rough time, I would hear about it, and I'm far to emotional these days to deal with the crankiness of a man. Thursday we took both babies to the doctor, Finn, in the end, did have an ear infection, and Gabe seemed to be okay at that point. However, by his visit the next day, he was having bouts of diarrhea, and seemed to be a bit dehydrated. Solution? Nurse more! For me, I wasn't really sure how that was possible, seeing how I have had him glued to my boob since day one. No joke! The child didn't spend time at the nursery! They would come and offer, and I wouldn't even oblige! I was so set on achieving my goal of being a breastfeeding mama, that I wasn't willing to let any time slip bye. His favorite place to be is curled up next to my boob. I guess it makes a good pillow. Oops, off track again.. back to the doctor.. yes, we left the doctors office on Friday with an appointment for MONDAY. However, I was informed that should anything continue, dry diapers, diarrhea, etc.. I was to go directly to the ER. So, after a long night of struggling to nurse, two runny diapers, no pees, and one heavily congested baby, I headed to the ER this morning. Naturally, I ended up with the biggest douchebag of all. He wrote down the names of two parenting books and suggested that I read them, and proceeded to tell me that I'm not nursing enough. Why thank you kind sir. I'm glad that you can decipher this by looking at my child and listening to his chest, all the while making comments on how babies must love to suck on their mothers breast. Oh yeah, that happened. So I left with a list for the library and a boogy sucker. Thanks doc. Now here we are, back at home. I have taken to telling myself the same thing that I told myself when Finn arrived, and he would do nothing but cry, all day long.. this too shall pass. One day, you will look back, and wish for those moments again. Well, that part is a lie. I don't miss those days when he cried all the time. To be honest, I am enjoying my sweet boy right now. He seems to have stepped into the big brother role. He has changed so much in 10 days! He is a different kid. Even being sick, he is so sweet. I cant even pick him up, and so he is spending extra time with daddy, snuggling on the couch, watching his favorite show, playing with his toys, and trying so hard to take more than just a few steps. Every time he lets go and toddles a bit, he looks at us, so proud of himself. I feel so overwhelmed. He keeps reminding me that these hard times in the beginning lead the way to such a delightful thing. I'm feeling so overwhelmed, yet so very blessed to have these beautiful beings in my life. <3
