Downslide

I love that word. Downslide. I love saying it, because it usually implies that the end of something is close. I have always used in reference to the end of a school year, or the end of a year while I was away working Québec. But this time, when I use the word I am met with various different emotions, and not all of them are excitement. If you have been pregnant before, or if you are pregnant, you will relate to how I'm feeling. I'm very sorry, but to anyone who says 'Oh, I wasn't nervous at all for the arrival of my baby!', you my friend, are full of shit. Sure, maybe you had a relaxed approach to the idea of actually giving birth (lucky you), but if you weren't at least a little bit nervous of the unknown, then I would say you aren't even human. I am now over 30 weeks pregnant. At my last doctors appointment, I was informed that it's time to register at the hospital. That really made things real to me. Okay, this is actually happening, I haven't just been gaining massive amounts of weight be being kicked from the inside out for nothing. I'm going to have a baby. Even more than that, I am going to be a mother. HOLY FUCK! I'm going to be a mother. If you're offended by my colorful language, sorry, I can't possibly think of two better words to use.
  So, while I am busy wrapping my head my impending entry to motherhood, my fiancé is wrapping his head around the fact that he is going to be a father. Our little guy is due to join us a week before his daddy heads off to start lobster season. This is a very busy time of year for him, early mornings and very little sleep. So, you add a crying newborn baby who does not understand that Daddy needs to get up at 3am and functional normally for the next 9-10 hours, we should be in for quite a joyride. On top of being fishing season, we are actually cutting it very close with our due date. My initial due date was April 14th, my doctor just changed it to the 15th, and chances are I won't go early or even on time. The first day of fishing season may very well be the 20th of April. So, my hope is that my little bambino makes his entry on time or before the 19th. God help us all if I go into labour while my fiancé is out on the Northumberland Strait. I don't think they let dogs drive cars, and even if they did, Milo's anxiety is worse than mine, so I don't think we would make it very far.
Now, let's talk about this stage of pregnancy. I am now in my third trimester. The home stretch, as they say. "'They'' are complete morons, because home stretch to me always seemed to be such an easy thing. Let me assure you that there is NOTHING easy about feeling and looking like an orca. My face is swollen, I have an extra chin, my boobs are drying out, and my pregnancy jeans do NOT fit. I haven't had a decent sleep in three weeks, and I have nightmares of giving birth to my little guy and realizing he's not ready and then putting him back in. WHAT THE HELL? Now that makes for fun table conversation. 'I had the coolest dream last night, James Franco was my boyfriend, and we did it in the backseat of his Porsche'... to which I come back with 'Oh yeah? Well I had a dream I gave birth and then put the baby back in myself!'. Suddenly the room goes silent, and people give me that awkward, painful look, as if to say, 'What the hell did you smoke before you went to bed last night?'. But wait, not only do I have these dreams, but I also get up every 2 hours, like clockwork, to go pee. I tried not drinking a lot before I go to bed, but since even my eyeballs are dried out these days, that just doesn't work. So, I have developed a pattern, get up, go pee, drink a glass of water, sleep two hours, repeat. I've told myself that soon enough I will replace the peeing and drinking with taking care of the baby, and if it's that exact, I'll have it made. This is what keeps me going, the thought that my baby will come out just as disciplined and organized as his Mamma, and put himself right on a nice schedule. A girl can dream, right? Speaking of dreaming, I'm also dreaming of what my body might someday look like, after I shed the extra person I've gained during this whole baby growing process. Now, I'm not about to beat myself up over this, because I earned my extra layers the honest way. Although I am really glad I have had a fall/winter pregnancy, I'm also convinced that this has contributed to my weight gain. Who want's to go out walking in -20 temperatures? It's hard enough when you're not large and in charge, but you try waddling through snowbanks. NOT happening. I had the utmost admiration for those super preggos who hit the gym like its their job and continue to count their calories. They must not have the same tapeworm I have. I am hungry at LEAST every 2 hours, and when I say hungry, I mean my belly is growling. I used to tell myself it was heartburn, then I discovered heartburn, and let me tell you, it is NOT the same thing. So I try to eat healthy snacks, apples, bananas, carrots. I think I'm doing good, then my doctor says, you might want to try just eating vegetables, and not so much fruit, as it has more calories. To which I want to reply, 'Oh yeah? Well I bet a chocolate has more calories '. I see plenty of ladies out there indulged in ALL of their cravings, whenever they see fit. Here I am, sitting at home, convincing myself that carrot sticks are YUMMY and they satifsy any cravings I might have. Another thing I am also convincing myself of is the fact that 75% of my weight gain is just fluid retention. Well, my fingers are pretty swollen....
So, Mommy and Daddy are preparing themselves mentally for the arrival of their bundle of joy. BUT, they must also prepare the house! Yes, that's right! Our house is now overrun with baby gear. Who knew such a small little being would require such a large amount of stuff. I have been on the hunt for gently used baby things for the past couple of months, and through generousity, and good connections, I have accumulated a baby swing, a bumbo chair, a bassinet, a playpen, a baby carrier, an entire travel system, two play mats, and a nursing pillow. My parents bought us a brand new travel system, car seat, base and stroller, and my grandmother is paying for the crib and mattress. We ordered a dresser from the same place we ordered the crib set, so everything matches. It was the only thing I was set on, having white furniture that somewhat matched. We took a basic approach to the nursery, involving very little painting, and I channeled every ounced of creativity I have to create my own nursery decor, costing us only one trip to Dollarama for  a few art supplies. I have to say that so far the most enjoyable aspects of pregnancy, other than seeing your baby at ultrasounds, or feeling them kick, has been shopping for little onesies with cute one-liners, or picking out things for the nursery. It almost balances out the sleepless nights, and the time spent bent over the toilet bowl.
All in all, ready or not, Baby Finn will be making his glorious arrival in just 10 short weeks. Then the real fun starts...