A few weeks ago, while my sister was paying me one of her usually sporadic visits, she suggested I start blogging throughout my pregnancy. At first I thought, why should I even bother? Someone will just find yet another reason to critique me on something in my life, thus pissing me off and causing me to delete it. But then I though figured, what the hell. I recently read Jenny McCarthy's book, 'Belly Laughs'. It's basically an extremely honest diary of her pregnancy and how she dealt with it. I literally read the entire book in one sitting. I laughed (and cryed) from beginning to end. She doesn't leave anything out. So I've decided to use this blog as my outlet. To vent, or to share funny and honest stories about what this experience is like for me.
Now I could go back to the beginning. When I was about 4 weeks pregnant and ready to take out anyone who looked at me the wrong way. Instead, I 'll just pick it up, right here at about 17 weeks. I'm still experiencing the wonders of morning sickness, although I'm praying it goes away sometime soon. I mean seriously, who doesn't love the thrill of wondering if you will make it through a meal without having to run to the bathroom part through? Let me tell you, this has not been a walk in the park for me so far. Anyone who is reading this and is under some illusion that pregnancy is this beautiful thing, where you eat lots and glow all the time, while looking up cute baby stuff on Pinterest, is WRONG! You, my dear, you poor naive thing, you are in for the shock of your life. You will probably be the one crying because your boyfriend showed up 5 minutes late for supper (I did), and then 10 minutes later you'l be laughing. But then once you realize you are laughing, you'll probably start crying again, because you'll wonder how you could possibly be laughing when you were so sad before. Yes, pregnancy is exhausting. The laughing, the crying, the binge eating, the barfing, the list goes on. But don't get me wrong. Once you come around to the fact that you are in fact going to be a mother, you will be happy. Seeing your little bundle of joy (which resembles a lima bean with a tail) for the first time on that screen is quite moving. I had my first ultrasound at 7 weeks, because my doctor was concerned that my excessive sickness was due to the fact that I was having (brace yourself) twins. Although two bundles of joy at once would have been just ducky, I was a bit relieved to know that the world would not be acquiring two more of me at one time. The next generation can probably only handle one. Also, hearing the heartbeat for the very first time was quite an experience. My doctor asked me first if I was comfortable with her trying to find it. She had explained that sometimes this early it was hard to find. However, I trusted her enough to try and sure enough, we heard a nice strong heartbeat thumping away. So, there have been a lot of ups and down in the past three months. But babies are resilient, they can handle quite a lot! Thank goodness, because this mamma is quite a stress case. I have a tendency of biting off much more than I can chew. For example, a month ago I was planning my wedding for this upcoming summer, as well as getting ready to move at the end of the month! Fortunately, I located the on switch to the rational side of my brain, and was able to realize that both of these projects, on top of having a baby in the Spring were just too much at once. So, we are staying out in our smaller home (which I love) and we are planning our wedding for two summers from now, when our baby will hopefully be walking and not stuck on my boob 12 hours a day. I feel like I was delaying with the whole growing up thing for a while, and then this summer I just decided to kick into high gear. Buy house, move in with boyfriend, get engaged, get pregnant, buy a new car. I've always enjoyed living a busy lifestyle, but I forgot to breathe for a while.
But, recently I've developed a good rhythm and I'm accepting that not everything can happen at once. I still have my crazy, psychotic freakouts, but, they are few and far between compared to what they used to be.
However, with 23 more weeks to go, I have a feeling we are far from in the clear. So stay tuned for what's next....
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