So.. it's 2013. Wow! I can still remember 2003 like it was yesterday. I was in my last year of high school, and I remember telling myself that 2003 would be the best year of my life. At the time, I was convinced it would be. But now, here I sit, rubbing my belly and telling myself that this will be the best year yet. But the thing is, I think we have a little bit of power over this. We can choose to make this a good year. It's not always in the hands of fate. To some extent, it is. But if we are here, and we have good health, I think the rest is in our hands. I'm not usually one for making resolutions. I feel like we never actually stick to them. But, this year, I've decided to make some resolutions, or set some goals for myself. Things that I feel are easily within reach, and things that will make me a happier and emotionally healthier person. I've had a LOT of time to reflect on life in general lately, and how I interact with the people in my life. I'm satisfied with some of it, and some of it just plain frustrates me. So, I have decided to attempt to eliminate some of the stressful parts, or just find a better approach. My biggest resolution is to be kinder to those who deserve it. I'm not saying I'm going to be cruel to those who don't treat me well. I just mean that I'm going to spend more energy on people who deserve my time. No longer wasting my efforts on people who only want to take from me. There are people who are in our lives because they want to be, and they don't want anything other than our love. Those people can stay, but the rest, I plan to distance myself from. I have become very good at figuring out who is using me, and who truly wants to be in my life. It's been a quiet 5 months or so, but I can tell you, that I've already eliminated some of these people, and I am a better, and less bitter person because of it. Another resolution is to cherish the simple things in life. This seems to be such a broad statement. But it's true. I have grown to enjoy my morning coffee, sitting at my computer, catching up on the world, looking out the window to my right side. It's quiet, and it's calming. I do have one particular resolution that may or may not be entirely realistic.. to swear less. I have decided that it's time to finally try and curb my foul mouth. My mother is always saying how unbecoming it is to be swearing like a trucker. I have to agree. With the arrival of my little one just a few months away, I figure not is the time to chill out on the swearing. Plus, I think that I will be able to remain slightly calmer if I hold off on the harsh words. I also want to do more yoga. I know I will probably be good at this for about a month, but then I'll start forgetting. But I am going to make an effort to take an hour a day, and do something calming, whether it's reading a book, meditating, reading, walking.. or just curling up on the couch and looking out the window while daydreaming. I need to make that time for myself, and for the baby. We get so caught up in the rush of our lives, that we often forget to slow down and give our brains a rest.. give our bodies a rest. I want to do that. Now, before anyone starts laughing hysterically at all of my 'resolutions'... I have just one more.. to be true to myself. That probably seems silly, and there will be many people who would scoff at that statement. However, the people that would scoff at it, probably don't like me enough to even read this... so I'm not worried. What I mean to say is that I will always be me, I will always be just a little bit high strung. I will always be the girl who can't sit through a movie without pausing it part way through to go re-arrange my closet, or something equally weird. These are things that will never change. I will always be Candace. I speak my mind, I love too hard, and I feel too much. But these are the key components of who I am, and these are the reasons why I am loved. So when you read this, if you take away nothing else.. I hope you start your New Year off being true to you. Realize that you can set goals for yourself, but don't ever change who you are. Happy New Year, everyone! I hope 2013 brings you an abundance of happiness and great memories. :) <3
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